We have all made some mistakes. We have all done some things we aren't entirely proud of or feel that someone else may not be proud of some of our decisions. We have all wanted to do certain things, and there was just this little "something" holding us back. Perhaps it was the fear of making another mistake or doing something wrong. Maybe we were afraid we would fail. It could be we were worried others would think we were weird or unusual. Maybe we just couldn't put our finger on it, or put a name on the thing that was keeping us from our dream job, or that once-in-a-lifetime trip, or just about a million other things - you can fill in the blank.
Today in our Break It Better Series we are talking about breaking the habit of not believing in ourselves. In our little series of breaking habits to become the next best version of ourselves we have talked about recognizing certain habits and realizing we need to break them to be better. We have talked about breaking the habit of negative self-talk and we have talked about breaking the habit of being judgmental and always choosing a side.
I believe that in order to be brave enough to grow and become the next best version of ourselves we first have to believe in ourselves.
Listen friend, I am the queen of beating myself up world and I wrote the book on No One Can Be Harder on Myself Than Me. I didn't actually write that book, but now I am considering it. What I am telling you is I understand how hard it is to make this change, and believe me I am still working on it all the time, every day. That is exactly and precisely why I know it's a habit we need to break to do more and be more. Now that is a book I really did write.
I had a chat with someone I love very much yesterday. We talked about the times in his life when he felt he had hit rock bottom. There were more than one. But, you know what else we talked about? We talked about how good we are at making a come back. I said, "I am a really good bouncer." Everyone involved in this conversation was thinking or saying, "What?"
I am a really good bouncer. Every time life has dealt me a blow knocked me down or kicked me arse. I have bounced back better than I was before. My blows and knocks and kicks were things like divorce, death, death, death, failure, failure, failure, failed relationships, getting cheated on, unsuccessful attempts. I even got fired once -granted it was for being distracted at work the week my sister passed but never-the-less I was fired. Oh! Did you think I was going to say some stuff, but not touch on any of your knocks and kicks and blows. Nope. I've been through all of that, and more, and bounced back stronger, smarter and better in every sense of the word.
There is a quote that says, "As I look back on my life, I realize that every time I thought I was being rejected from something good I was actually being redirected to something better." The other quote that springs to mind by Arianna Huffington says, "Failure is not the opposite of success. It is part of the process."
Now some of the blows I have been dealt had nothing to do with failure but everything to do with loss. Those are also times I could have stayed down, but I bounced back up. How? I reached down into my mind and my memories and my soul to the people who have gone before me, those who always believed in me. Now what kind of a legacy would I be to them if I just gave up? What kind of honor would I bring to their memories if I just quit believing in myself, even though they spent their life believing in me?
So, how do we do it? The challenge I want to leave you with is learn to love yourself. Listen, if you are not proud of who you are or you don't like the person you have been or the one you have become get about the business of being that person. I promise you, you are never to old or too set in your ways or too whatever to do that. Start now. Start today.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Do you like that person? Would you be proud to introduce that guy or girl to your mom or dad or grandpa?
I was fortunate to have parents who always told me that I could be or do anything I set my mind to, as long as I wanted it bad enough, believed in myself, and was willing to work for it. Now, if you have never had anyone tell you that before, I am telling you now.
You are amazing. You are strong. You are capable of great things. Most importantly, you are making a difference in this world every day just by being in it. It is your choice what kind of difference you make.
The habit you need to break is not believing in yourself and today your new habit it to believe in yourself a little more each day. Say it with me, I am capable of great things. I am smart and strong and amazing. I believe in myself.
Watch the video about Richie Parker on the Upliftuniverse Facebook page. He was born with no arms, but he rides a bike and drives a car and works at Hendrick Motorsports as an engineer. How do you get through you day? How does he get through his life? He believes he can do anything, and then he does!
I will leave you with one last thought, a quote, but I do not know who said it. Believe in yourself! Have faith in your abilities! Without a humble but reasonable confidence in your own powers, you cannot be successful or happy.